Parenting

Are you a parent?

Do you sometimes wonder if you’re doing a good job?

Do you sometimes think that you don’t have a clue as to what you’re doing?

Do you wish that you could get answers to basic questions?

Have you asked questions of other doctors and gotten different answers every time?

Have you wondered if anyone knows what the heck they’re doing?

Well, you’re not alone if this is how you have felt. We have all felt this way, at times. Unfortunately, I meet parents who feel like this all too often. This is why I have decided to make my next several post all about parenting issues. I have one book completed and ready to go to the editor. I have a second that’s about half way completed. I want these post to give you great information and wet your appetite for the parenting books that I will launch in the very near future.

Here’s some of what you’ll see in future posts:

• Positive Parenting
• Active Parenting
• Discipline- What works? What doesn’t?
• Reward systems vs. Punishment systems
• Homework 911
• Step-parenting
• Parenting and divorce
• Consequences
• and much, much more

Look back here for regular posts. I promise that they will be interesting and informative. Your comments will help me to know just what information you’re looking for. And as always, you can call me at my office at 856-438-5256.

Dr John

P.S. Comments help. Please leave one.
As always… you can find new and interesting information at http://johnhudome.com

Positive Parenting

So what is “Positive Parenting?” Let’s just suggest this as a definition: “Encouraging the behavior you want by rewarding it when you see it… rather than only punishing or negatively commenting on problem behavior.” I know that this is a bit over simplistic. But it will suffice.

If this is where the Positive Parenting movement begun in the 80’s ended, I would be fine with it. However, the encouragement thing went a little too far. Johnny got a trophy just for showing up on the soccer field. When he missed the ball he heard, “nice try Johnny.” When he got a poor grade on a test he heard, “did you try Johnny?” If he answered “yes,” he heard “great” from his parent.

The problem here is that no one held little Johnny accountable. There were no consequences to poor performance. Our success in the world isn’t only contingent on effort. Although effort is certainly important. I’m all for positive parenting and encouraging our kids. And sometimes we need to push them a little. We need to expect a little more. The rest of the world doesn’t love your children. We aren’t giving your children a trophy for showing up. We expect performance. It would help them if you would teach them to have some performance expectations of themselves. They’ll thank you later in life.

So remember, reward, reward reward. Give encouragement. Positive praise is most useful when it corresponds to positive performance (and sometimes effort). And have some expectations, please.

Dr. John

New Parenting Resource Site and Blog

My work with parents is some of the most rewarding. And since I find that most parents need and want plenty of resources, I’m initiating this space exclusively for such needs.

I really need and want to hear from you as to what content you want. If you post comments and questions, I can respond to them and give you much more of what you’re looking for. Questions and comments will help the blog to focus on YOUR interests, not just mine. Even if you disagree, leave a comment. I want to hear it all.

Parenting has been a true joy for me. It is the most rewarding undertaking of my entire life. As I continue writing and sharing my personal and clinical experiences, beliefs and strategies, I hope you find it to be helpful and useful.

Dr. John